It's been more than a year

Isn't it funny, when one goes to get one's hair cut that we sit in front of a mirror? I was in a funk, along with the weather, on monday. It was my second day off in a row and after walking around Capitol Hill in a daze looking for the miracle apartment to fall into my lap, I decided I needed to get a haircut. Walking into an uber hip salon recommended to me, I had stylist who was also stuck in slow motion. Seated in the vinyl chair, staring at myself in the mirror and the yellowish orangish headed short woman slowly and meticulously moving from one side of my head to the other and back again, I thought I might be falling asleep. My expression looked blank. And my reflection stared at me, rudely, I might add. I couldn't do anything but stare back, locked in a dazed gaze trying to focus on anything. The stylist slowly drew another two fingers full of hair up to it's perfect snipping height and slowly clipped from fingertip to hand.

Ziggy Stardust played over the stereo.

I haven't blogged in a long long time. Like seriously blogged and that's a problem. But. Perhaps the end of my long drought is over. I have been unbelievably stressed out. Like more than ever. But now, it's raining and the darkness in my apartment now matches the darkness outside the windows. And perhaps now, things are more congruous. Nina is on the stereo and the peppermint tea is lukewarm. My favorite temperature for tea.

I spent a fantastic evening a few days ago, leaning halfway out my apartment windows at 4 in the morning watching lightning reverberate through the clouds. Reverberate. That's impossible. Lightning doesn't reverberate. It does something else. Gimme a second. Stutters. Stutters and Shutters. across the sky. silence. too. no thunder, just the shuddering shuttering faint light through thick clouds at the quietest time of the day. On my elbows (the sill is low) and kneeling on the floor, conversation floats out to the city. And with a smile stretching my tired cheeks, I remembered how much I liked and how much I missed, talking, writing and reading. Reading, talking and writing, writing reading and talking. I missed it.

i had sunday off and I went to the lake. standing at the edge of the high dive off the shore on the dock, I swayed with the dock up and down, side to side over wave and through trough. Standing precariously up above the water, I swayed. giggling somewhere silently inside, I felt life swaying, slowly, shaking me to pieces. Swaying on the precipice. I kicked the lolling board, made my body rigid and sliced the incoming crest. And it's about time too.

I'll write again tomorrow. But right now, my tea is gone and I'm still in my work clothes. Plus, the rain is demanding my attention.