On our Own

The first couple days alone have been good so far. Although, we are trying to work quickly both subconciously knowing that this situation won't last long. It takes it's toll. Brian built a fire at the end of the first work day on Saturday and we had a warm meal. Otherwise we've been eating fruits, PB&J and the like. We cleaned out one room pretty well and trimmed a lot of the overgrown vegetation around the house down. Sunday (today) we just cleaned out our second room. This room will be the one we'll work on first. Tentatively the bathroom/kitchen aka room that will have running water. Our next project entails cleaning up the old rusted stove and the disgusting sink.

The streak of warm sunny days ended when my family left. It's now cold and rainy all the time. Most of my clothes are damp and nothing ever completely dries out. This makes working really difficult especially on little food. The beds have worked out well though and at least we are warm and dry at night. Capable of getting a full night's sleep is definitely saving our lives.

Clearing the vegetation was a bitch, particularly because its brambles, nettles and holly bushes. But I am trying to salvage the holly so it's particularly difficult getting into the middle of a holly bush to clear out nettles. I've been stung so many times my arms just throb. However, when the sun does occasionally shine it is a peculiar feeling. To be honest I harbored some of the same doubts that others had in my ability to do this. Yes, its only day two, but already I have blisters on my hands, bugbites on my forearms, manure on my shoes and legs and I find myself trudging around this farmhouse with a shovel in one hand and metal bucket full of either dirt (I planted herbs last night, cilantro, mint, and basil) or wood ash (used for our compost). The sun shines and it feels quite wholesome. I'm happy to be here and to look out the broken glass windows onto rolling fields of my land. A strange sense of belonging in such a foreign place.

Anyway, I am already excited to show people this house, even though we haven't done much. I have so many great plans for it we'll see which ones make it to fruition. The depressing thought is that the weather only gets worse from now on. Sadly though, no pictures this time. Not much to show I guess and this particular internet cafe has the computer locked in drawer, so no usb connection for me. Fuckers.

We bought a small transistor radio and its been a lifesaver, there are few fun stations around. Sunday's are golden classics days (which is great) they play nonstop songs like, Tina Turner's What's Love Got to Do with It and the soul crushing song that made Brian and I stop, throw down our tools and turn the radio off for 20 minutes, The Mama's and the Papa's California Dreaming. That was the last song we needed to hear. Anyway, I think we might be settling into this way of life. Hopefully we can get a slightly more luxurious abode before this type of living gets to us. It can get frustrating and I'm definitely moving slower than Brian. But its good to have him here to keep me on task. Otherwise I think it might take me a lot longer to get anything done.

I was sitting listening to JJ Alberhasky (a friend from Iowa) who is a great "folk" musician who has music that never fails to coax some sort of emotion out of me either longing, sadness, nostalgia whatnot. And as I was listening to it the last night in the hotel (in dim light, I love dim light) I considered the longing it brought out of me because certainly I am in a position susceptible to longing. But upon reflection I noticed that these soulful songs that tell so many sad stories none of which I particularly relate to call forth an indistinct sense of longing that longs for nothing in particular but as I thought further perhaps longing itself. Longing for longing seems strange though, but it also seems right. There were a couple of thoughts that went along with that but I can't quite remember them at the moment. But somehow it tied into the difference between the Hero and the Coward, a theme that came up right toward the end of my time at Pomona and I haven't had the chance to intellectually entertain. As soon as we get this stove working and dry enough place to put my books in addition to time and energy, perhaps we'll see more here. Ok I'm getting kicked off the computer. I hope everyone starts the weekend well. Pray for sunshine.